What's in a Name?

Before I got married (or engaged even), I was always surprised at the ease so many girls have about changing their names.  Mere hours after saying ‘I Do’, their Facebook profile’s would suddenly change names to the point where I had no idea who my ‘friends’ were.  Oh social media, what would we do without you?

To be perfectly honest, it always sort of bugged me.  I mean, at least have your profile with both names just so I can recognise who you used to be.

It also bugged me for another reason:  how was it so easy to suddenly have a brand new name and give up on the one that’s been with your for at least 25 years?

One Facebook friend had staunchly refused to change her name.  Imagine my surprise when the day after her wedding, her profile name changed immediately and her maiden name was no where to be seen.

Leading up to my own marriage, I was always convinced that I would keep my maiden name with the compromise of hyphenating my husband’s name.  My husband (in my view) hasn’t been completely supportive of my decision.  In fact, I wanted him to take my name.  Or at least give our combined name to our children.

Which to this day he is still very much against.

The thing is, my maiden name is very unique.  There are only about 70 Groundwater’s in all of Canada.  Next, I am the last one in our family’s line with this name.  I have no brother’s to carry on the name and my dad only had sisters.  Groundwater comes from my Great-Grandfather who immigrated from the Orkney Islands in Scotland.  Imagine my delight when I lived in Scotland and discovered how common my name was!

 This last name has always gotten lots of questions and lots of confusion. I get asked frequently if I am First Nations.  My name has been changed to Groundhouse, Groundhog, Underwater – you name it, I’ve been called it.  And don’t get me started on the spelling.  JUST LIKE IT SOUNDS!!  It’s so automatic for me to say “Ground you walk on, Water you drink – Groundwater’ in the hopes I don’t have to spell it ten times.

My husband’s last name is Law.  Which is a lovely last name.  Unlike myself, his last name doesn’t have a lot of history with it.  In fact, Law is not really his family’s last name.  When his dad immigrated to Canada, their name got lost in translation. 

But just like me, he is fiercely proud of his last name.  And expects me to change my name.  He doesn’t agree with the hyphen and doesn’t want our kids to have the long last name.  He feels that if we have a daughter and she  gets married some day then she will have a really really long name.  Fair enough.  But I say that’s her decision.  Just like he wants his kids to carry on his name, so do I.  Just like he wants to keep his last name that he has had for thirty years, so do I.

Doesn’t he know that white people like long last names?  (urm, please refer to Stuff White People Like)

Okay, now speed up to the week before we got married. 

It suddenly occurred to me to ask my dad how he felt about me changing my name.  Yup, he thought I was being weird.  My dad has no feelings about me keeping my name or passing it on to his grandchildren. Hmmmmm.  Did you know in Egyptian culture (and another one that I forget) the girl keeps her maiden name?  It’s thought disrespectful to their  fathers to change their name. 

But apparently my dad doesn’t care.

In the days leading up to our wedding, my friends were scattered around Italy doing the tourist thing.  In the exchange of text messages, I got messages that said things like this:  “The Carlyle’s & Lappin’s are in Rome, joining the St. Amour’s in Florence”.

And it hit me.

These couples were a team.  Their new families they were creating were all one team under one name.  By me taking my husband’s name was not about me losing my own name – it’s about him and me becoming our own family.

And that’s when I realised maybe I could lose the Groundwater and become a Law.

Nah, I opted to go Groundwater Law.

Let’s speed up another six or seven months post wedding. 

Unlike calling the Engineer my boyfriend or even my fiancé, I get a happy little thrill every time I refer to him as my husband.  When he introduces me as his wife, I get a little skip in my tummy.  I’m a wife! 

I’ve tried the Groundwater Law thing since June 29^th.  The problem is I often forget the Law.  Or forget what name I’ve used when booking appointments.  Am I an “L” or a “G” on the alphabetical list?  And now people ask if I am an environmental lawyer.  Really people?

And then it happened.  Just the other day I dropped Groundwater all together.  I called someone and said, “Hi, this is Sarah Law”.  And just like calling the Engineer my husband or him calling me his wife, I got a secret thrill. 

Not to mention it’s SO EASY to be a Law.  No one gets confused with the spelling.  No one asks me to repeat it twice.  And talk about filling out forms.  My name finally fits in the box!! 

I think I’ve made the decision to change my name.  I think I’ll still need to throw the Groundwater around a bit.  And I would still like our kids to have the name (but let’s face it:  women are much better at compromising than men.) But life is so easy with a short last name.

And we’re a team now.

But to the end of time, I will always remain Sarah Groundwater Law on Facebook.  I’m not ready for that change just yet!