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| My Chinese husband and I on our wedding day |
In my head.
Actually, it was my mother-in-law who once said over dim sum that I'm Asian now so maybe it isn't so much in my head.
But mostly it's in my head.
And it makes me do embarrassing things.
I slip it into any conversation I am having with an Asian person that my husband is Asian. The Engineer thinks this is ridiculous. He doesn't tell every Caucasian person he meets that his wife is white.
I think I feel it qualifies myself a bit more. That I'm one of them. It does not. Unless I am in Chinatown. And then it does.
For example, when purchasing a wok last year for Chinese New Year, I was haggling (well, in BBC terms - that's British Born Canadian - that means I was going to pay the asking price) with the saleslady. She tried to downsize me to a frying pan so I told her that I couldn't properly cook the recipes my mother-in-law had given me (brazen lie - I just wanted a wok). She eyed me up and down and asked what sort of recipes my mother-in-law had given me. I properly pronounced the word "mein" (meee-yen) so she asked "is your mother-in-law Chinese?". When she heard the answer, suddenly I was a different person. She went back to the best wok in the store and knocked $25 off!! See? It did qualify me that I was now Chinese in her eyes.
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| Chinese New Year parade. |
Granted, maybe this was not the wok that my mother-in-law would actually approve of. Nor did I probably get the best price. I probably paid the white-girl-thinks-she's-Chinese price. But heck, it's better that just the plain old white girl price.
To be fair, I loved the Chinese culture long before the Engineer was ever in my life. My parents used to take me to dim sum in Winnipeg's Chinatown back in the 80's. I've been using chopsticks for forever. I've read every Amy Tan novel. My condo in Vancouver is on the edge of Chinatown. I've been frequenting one of the best Chinese bakeries for years. I actually earned points with my MIL (mother-in-law) when I first started dating the Engineer because I new about New Town Bakery and their amazing steamed buns & coconut buns.
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| New Town yummy |
It has been said (by me) that I am more Chinese than my Chinese husband.
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| Our tea ceremony during our ceremony |
Maybe when you do marry someone you marry their heritage by proxy.
After all, we were at dim sum last week and the cart lady spoke to me in rapid-fire Mandarin.
Then she opened her eyes and noticed my whiteness so turned to my husband. Who also can't speak Mandarin. Or Cantonese.
My grandmother once told me that we, the Groundwaters, were Scottish. I said to her that she was not a Groundwater. Well, I married a Groundwater so now I am one - was her reply. Even though my grandmother's lineage points to Irish waaaaaaaay back (her family was actually from the Southern States prior to the Civil War and we think even to the Revolution), she felt that she was Scottish by association in marrying my grandfather.
I have recently turned a corner to doing something even more embarrassing than telling any Chinese person that will listen that I am married to a Chinese guy. I have started to say 'Xie Xie' (shyeah, shyeah) which is 'Thank you' in Mandarin when I buy things at the Chinese bakery or to the random Chinese food delivery guy.
It. Just.Comes.Out.Of.My.Mouth.
Before I can stop it.
The Engineer couldn't stop laughing at me after grabbing our two egg tarts. It's like when my dad says 'ta' after getting a cup of tea from my mum's cousin. It just sounds weird (Ta is slang for 'thank you' and used by my family in Northern England) coming from a non-British person.
If my MIL is right and I am in fact an honorary Chinese person, then I am happy. The Chinese culture is rich in history and beautiful. And Chinese food is delicious (well, except for the chicken feet).
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| My dogs during Chinese New Year. To be fair - Mr. Mop's robe was GIVEN to me. By one of my CBC friends I'll have you know |
For those of you who are in the Lower-Mainland and have not yet been to New Town Bakery I highly suggest you go. Their coconut buns are AMAZING - especially when bought hot out of the oven. I once watched a friend who never eats carbs/sugar, scoff two down before I could even say co-co-nut. Their pineapple buns are also delicious - they are stuffed with the same yummy coconut but have a very large sugary topping shaped like a pineapple. Or their steamed buns filled with pork. I am drooling now so must go find a Chinese bakery here in Toronto I love as much.
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| It's true! |
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| delicious |
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| Pineapple buns! |
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| Coconut Bun |
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| BBQ Pork Bun |
- Mrs. Law
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