The Dog Days of Winter

I. HATE. WINTER.

Correction:  I hate winter post December 26th.

Prior to Christmas, winter is all about cozy nights, soft fluffy snow, twinkly lights and magical white wonderlands.

Distillery District Christmas Market

Distillery District Christmas Market

Banff Springs Hotel

Winter sky prettiness

Post Christmas, winter is dark days, dirty snow and bone-chilling temperatures without the promise of boxes of chocolate and presents (hint Engineer:  this is perhaps something you can take up).

Being Canadian, it's pretty darn hard to avoid the deep freeze (I am really looking forward to my snowbird years.  Which hopefully start next year!).  I grew up on the prairies which literally meant about 6 months of deep snow and wind chill factors that brought temperatures down to such a level your exposed skin was subject to frostbite in a matter of seconds.

I <wish> I was this enthusiastic about winter (or is she just crazy?)

Ice Sculptures at Festival du Voyaguer in Winnipeg - the only good thing about February in Winnipeg

Ice skating at St. Vital park in Winnipeg - probably the best outdoor skating rink EVER.  Another good thing about winter

So at my first chance, I moved to the West Coast where, yes, it rains, but heck, you don't have to shovel rain.  February in Vancouver is pretty amazing - remember the 2010 Olympics?  Brisk weather, sunshine and the promise of cherry blossoms.  While the rest of the country shovels out their cars and bundles on layers, us West Coasters bask in the glory of being clever enough to move to Lotus Land and escape harsh Canadian winters.

YES - this is March in Vancouver

Pretty right?

The one time in winter Vancouver gets snow. It lasts three days.

We are such assholes.  Now that I am in the east, I just find those sunshiney winter beach pictures of happy people walking dogs under cherry blossom trees mean. Just plain mean.

Courtesy of Maurice Li Photography.  Yup, just showing off!  For the record, these shots are where my condo is.  BOO!  No wonder I miss it! www.mauriceli.com

I haven't shovelled snow since 1998 (my parents will say it was actually 1993, if that).  I don't own sorels (WHY would I spend $200+ on ugly winter boots??  Granted I do own $200 pink rubber boots).  I had to buy a big puffy jacket (west coast winters involve a thin wool coat or a puffy vest or a rain coat).  And a myriad of colourful toques, scarves, mittens and adorable sweaters.

Our car and the boulevard we shoveled after Toronto blizzard #1

Team effort!  Actually, the blizzard was awesome for bringing out the best in people

Brooklyn kept asking to go outside.  Each time he was confronted with a wall of snow bigger than him.

Unhappy campers navigating the snow

Super unhappy

In November I thought it was fun to layer.

Now that we are in the beginning of March, I am desperate to break out the flip flops and walk out of my house without feeling like the Michelin Man.

I have tried to like winter.  It's dark and romantic - perfect for reading angsty books by the fire.   I went to Lake Louise prior to Christmas and had such a wonderful time.  I mean look at the glory of the Chateau Lake Louise.  It's amazing.  Or snowboarding in the Okanagan at Christmas.  Wonderful.

Happy at Lake Louise

Skating on Lake Louise

Room with a view!

Sleigh Bells ring!  A sleigh ride with my BFF

Snowboarding on Silverstar

Silverstar Run

Silverstar Run

Silverstar

Silverstar

Lake Louise

Lake Louise

Lake Louise

It's amazing for one month.   One month of sleigh rides, skating and snowboarding.  After that, it's just a pain in my ass.  Because I don't live at Lake Louise or Banff or Whistler, winter to me is just dirty sidewalks and scraping frost off my windshield.  And layering. Lots and lots of layering.

Gross

Grosser

Grossest

Blech

I hate this

Take me back to Florida (and yes, that is the Engineer in the background doing the dirty work)

If I don't like layering myself, imagine the fun it is to layer dogs.

Yes, dogs.

If you are a parent reading this you are probably rolling your eyes thinking if I find layering my dogs a challenge, I will fail as a mother.

But you haven't tried to put boots on dogs.

I used to think those pet owners were just plain kooky for putting footwear on their furry friends.  Until I realized that in Toronto, they cover the streets in salt.  This salt is painful on paws.  Snow and ice are also quite painful.

Mr. Mop is a huge wuss.  Especially considering I rescued him from a small town in the North West Territories.  Shouldn't he be accustomed to frozen ground?  To be fair, he seems to go nuts when it's just plain snow.  Or when he can run free.  It's the cold concrete and packed ice I suppose.

Running free in fresh snow

I also have to put sweaters on the boys.  Again, I am not usually the person who dresses up dogs.  Unless you count this episode of Wedding Belles or the times I have perhaps dressed them up for photo ops. Like Chinese New Year and Halloween.

As a reindeer.

I think these antlers are hilarious. Why do they have ears?

Super 'happy' to be dressed up for Halloween

Gung Hei Fat Choy!

But Mr. Mop is quite thin with shortish hair and Brooklyn is 9 pounds.  The latter insists on sitting outside watching squirrels for hours while he shakes uncontrolably.  He doesn't listen to reason. I try to explain that he would be warmer in his sweater.

Instead he just hides when he sees his 'Let It Snow' sweater come out.  Even though it means a walkies & a treat.

This is where the fun begins.

Firstly, I have to bundle myself up.  I shove my feet into some boots, thrust a wooly toque on my head, and zip up my very puffy jacket.  Already I am breaking a sweat.

Then I have to chase Brooklyn and entice him with some ham.  This takes about 5 minutes.  I place him on his back and talk in soothing tones as I begin to shove each rubber boot over a paw.  He shakes the entire time, as if this is the worst torture known to dog.  When I go to grab his sweater, he runs away and hides.

But as he is not the smartest of dogs, this is his hiding spot.  And when I say his name, he wags his tail.  Yes, he is very sneaky.

I can see you

Finally Brooklyn is ready.

Now Mr. Mop.  Unlike Brooklyn, Mop actually enjoys wearing sweaters. You may wonder how I know this.  It's because he sits nicely and lets me put on his coat.  Then he prances proudly around showcasing his jaunty jumper.

Boots, on the other hand, are a different matter.

I can't really explain to you, so I will just show you.

The other day, this struggle went on for TEN minutes.  By the end, he had only one boot on.  And I thought, screw it, he'll wear one boot.

After 15 minutes of chasing Brooklyn, shoving boots on Mop and dressing myself, Brooklyn refused to leave.

Once I carried him outside, the two walked approximately one block before Mr. Mop sat down and held up one paw.  He whined and licked at it, until I warmed it up with my mitten and dug the snow out.  I explained to him that if he wore his boots, this would not happen.  Not surprisingly, he didn't understand.

We took a few more steps.  And then this happened:

Maybe he does hate his sweater afterall?

We walked around the block. It lasted perhaps 5 minutes.

At this point, both dogs pulled on their leashes in the direction of home.

I feel this is how parents feel with their well-bundled child expresses their wish to use the bathroom right after you have just zipped up their coat.

I am told spring is right around the corner.  It is literally 14 days away.  Myself, Mr. Mop & Brooklyn, can hardly wait.

Mrs.  Law